Your Codependency is Annoying

I understand the importance of communication.

But "constant communication" with a significant other points to deeper insecurities that are, well, annoying. Let me illuminate:

Nothing smacks of codependency more than being attached to the cellphone, speaking with your partner about whatever-the-latest-drama-or-catastrophe is. And it is an utter "hell-in-a-hand-basket ... the-world-is-ending-amid-horror-and-terror" catastrophe, isn't it? What needed to be said must be said here and now with either a call or through a text message ... preferably both, just in case one or the other was accidentally missed.

But we both know that there are no real "accidents" with cell phones, right? Isn't "accident" just another name for "excuse?" Everyone knows that your number would be recorded as a missed call. The reason why he or she isn't returning your call with the same sense of urgency is because they're ignoring you. Yeah, you're being ignored because he's talking to another woman, or she's hooking up with another man. That's right. That must be it. The sacred and mature "love" and "trust" that forms the foundation of your relationship is being contaminated with the drippy sweat from another person. And it's happening right now -- it has to be. They're not thinking about you, right? And it's not too far of a step to assume that they're thinking about someone else. You'd better send a text message ... just in case. And while you're at it, send 2 more, ... hell, send a dozen until they call you back. Do whatever it takes to force them to think about you!

And when they actually call back, it signals the beginning of the next ritual: the apologetic explanation. They must explain the reason, the ever so important and dire reason, why they didn't answer the first time you called or texted. The reason seems to be the same -- they were doing something else -- something more important and more significant than you -- and couldn't get to the phone in time. "Yeah right," you think. "How does that excuse you from not checking your call history?" Thoughts such as, "You were with another woman, weren't you? You were hoeing around with someone else, huh?" fill your mind. And now you're mad. You love them so much, and look at how you're repaid. They don't really love you, do they? They mustn't because they prove it, time and time again, by how they ignore listening to that "hell-in-a-hand-basket ... the-world-is-ending-amid-horror-and-terror" catastrophe of yours.

That kind of drama seems to happen every five minutes, doesn't it?

That kind of drama keeps happening every time you two are apart, right?

I know you don't care how people see your relationship from the outside. What do other people know? It's your relationship and other people have no business in it. Who cares what they think. And that's true. No one else has any business in your relationship. But your codependency advertises the short comings of your relationship to other people; it's like watching a plague spread. It's like seeing a bright neon sign 20 miles away in the dark desert. Everyone knows what it is.

Somehow you think and believe you must monitor and check up on your significant other through the guise of care and concern. You're not fooling everyone. Statistically speaking, there's not even a snowball's chance in hell that so much drama has spontaneously developed from the time your partner left your physical presence. Seriously, do you keep track of how much time passes BEFORE you initiate that first call of the day ... each day ... every day ... any time you're physically apart from one another?

I'm sorry.
Did I offend you?
I wouldn't know such a thing existed if it weren't for me seeing it and hearing it each time I ventured out in public.